Educate, educate, educate
What do I mean by educate?
"The role of education is meant for developing something new rather than relying on old innovations."
This spoke to me because relying on "old innovations" (my morals and good intentions) played a big part in my dysfunctional family and its crisis-to-crisis lifestyle. I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time, but not only was it not good enough, it made matters worse. My behavior and decisions were based on the bare minimum of knowledge. The more I learned, the more I understood, the better my decisions became. It was an investment into a healthier environment, an investment in me and my loved one's future.
There are plenty good sources to educate yourself, but here are a few I found helpful to get you started:
There are few better places to start than with Randi Kreger's book selections on her website
I Hate You, Don't Leave Me helped me understand my loved ones' behavior
Melody Beattie's Codependent No More and her other codependency books can be found at her website
The NAMI Family-to-Family course covered many of the diagnoses my loved ones received
The National Education Alliance for BPD Family has a number of offerings, including their Family Connection Program and Education Workshop Videos
I found TARA to be focused more on the person with BPD, but they run Family and Family Empowerment Skills workshops
Mental health articles written by professionals in the industry